Stop Failing at Resolutions: Create Habits that Stick in 2024

New Years holds a different special energy ✨ For me, it’s a time to reflect, to dream, to set myself up for good habits. AND you still have the Christmas decor up, so it’s a win-win!

Have you ever wondered why so many people create new years resolutions? 👀

There is a phenomenon known as “The Fresh Start Effect” where people have increased energy & motivation to accomplish goals when they relate to specific timeframes.

The Fresh Start Effect is why you want to start a new workout routine on a Monday or reach a goal by your birthday, & it’s also why the start of a new year can be a motivating time to create changes in our lives.

In this blog post, you’ll learn how to ditch unrealistic, unsustainable resolutions & instead confidently build habits that stick—through the upcoming year & beyond!

Giving up on new years resolutions is so common that the second Friday of January is known as “Quitter’s Day.” Mannnn, people are ruthless 😅

So why do resolutions fail??

Well, there are a few reasons:

• They don’t have a deep sense of purpose to create the change.

• There’s not enough resistance to stop the old habit, & there’s not enough ease to complete the new one.

• The goals are too lofty, making them unsustainable even before they even get started.

Let’s pretend we’re at a middle school sleepover & give resolutions a complete makeover!

Instead of focusing on things that just sound cool to say, let’s focus on what achieving our goals actually comes down to: habits.

So uhhh, I guess we’re not giving resolutions a makeover as much as kicking her out to invite someone else? 👀

I am a tooootal lover of habits. They are the foundation of our lives & the silent dictators of our destiny.

They decide whether you are riddled with chronic diseases when you’re older, or you’re the grandparent who can run around the park with your baby’s babies.

They decide if you build a life of purpose that evokes a healthy sense pride, or you feel lonely & disenchanted on a daily basis.

With this HABITS framework, you’ll be able to create habits that not only positively impact your life, but that are sustainable as well.

H – Home Environment

“Insanity is doing the same thing over & over again & expecting different results.”

-Albert Einstein.

You cannot expect to change when you’re surrounded by things that pull you toward the same actions.

Whether it’s the couch you gravitate to after work, the group of friends who encourage the very thing that you’re avoiding, the pantry full of the food you don’t want to eat, always taking the route that passes by your favorite donut shop…

Change your environment, change your habits, change your life!

There’s a strategy that psychologists call “Situation Change¹” that addresses just that: instead of hoping we have the strength to resist temptation, it’s more effective to just steer clear of it in the first place.

Your environment encompasses more than you might think, including your friends, job, where you live, your partner, furniture, clothing, the food you purchase, the shows & social media you consume, what you read, etc.

You can curate your environment in two primary ways, & it doesn’t necessarily have to mean overhauling your entire life:

• Make it easy to do what you want to do

• Make it hard to do what you don’t want to do

Rather than going to bar & hoping you don’t drink, just don’t go! Ask your friends if they want to do something else. Offer to host & say you’re experimenting with nonalcoholic bevvies.

Rather than coming home & sitting down on that beloved sectional where you’ve spent days binging Netflix, change things up. Hit the gym right after work. Get a new couch. Have your partner change the Netflix password & not give it to you. Have a book waiting there instead.

Move the fruit to the front of the fridge.

Put the cookies on the shelf you can’t reach.

Buy a the cute workout fit that makes you feel confident (you’ll be more likely to use it!).

Reach out to the girl you met who goes on Saturday morning walks.

Heck, change jobs!

Move cities!

Dump the partner who keeps rolling their eyes when you say you want more out of life!

Your environment will contribute to your strength or your stagnation, so choose wisely!

A – Affirm Your Identity

Mijita, we are alllll about identity-based behavior change around here!

What does that even mean??

We want to think of ways that this habit will push you toward the identity you are stepping into.

Think of the type of person that you want to be. What do they do? How do they act? How do they talk to themselves? How do they treat others? Do they wake up early? Intentionally sleep in? Get specific!

We also want to phrase it out of love & self-compassion rather than shame & guilt, & this entails framing things in a positive light.

What sounds better to you?

“I’m going to stop sitting on my butt & go to the gym for a change. I need to stop being lazy.”

Vs…

“Going to the gym makes my body & mind feel so good. My body does so much for me & through exercising, I show it love.”

Confidence might be a feeling, but it’s built through actions.

Through setting up intentional habits that coincide with the person you want to become, poquito a poquito you are building confidence that maybe you are that girl.

That girl who cares about her health, so she wakes up early to go to the gym.

That girl who prioritizes her relationship, so she gives her partner daily affirmations.

That girl who invests in community, so she writes snail mail to her besties once a week.

What kind of identity do you want your habits to affirm? What kind of future do you want your habits to create?

B – Buddies

There’s a saying I looove that says that you gravitate toward the mean. What that means is that the people you’re around are going to create a new standard for how you live.

Habits—positive or negative (& that’s up to your interpretation)—are contagious. Similar to the H from earlier, the people you surround yourself (aka your buddies) with will make or break your habits.

If you want to create a habit of exercising, who do you think is going to make you want to exercise more: the friend who works at the gym so that she can have a free membership or the one who works at a donut shop so she can get free doughnuts?

If you want to read more, join a book club.

Practice the violin? Find another orchestra girly.

Get outdoors Saturday mornings? Join a hiking group.

There would be days that I would feel completely uninspired to create content, then I’d go on stories & one of my besties was sharing thoughtful reflections on their day.

It was like I would glean motivation from their energy & suddenly I’d be doing what I had been trying to convince myself to do for hours.

Your friends can remind you of your values when things get hard. They can making unenjoyable things FUN, until those things start to become enjoyable themselves!

Whether you want to wake up early to journal, work on your side hustle or hit the gym, having a friend to check in will keep you going when your camita feels too good to leave.

If it feels impossible to find the right community that uplifts you toward your goals, check out this blog post!

Your friends are suuuper important, & arguably no-buddy (haha, get it?) is more important than the partner you choose.

They are the ones you’re with the majority of the time. They reinforce what’s normal in your day-to-day life, so they play a pivotal role in helping to make habits that stick.

Do they meal prep alongside you, or encourage your love of Door Dash?

Do they think it’s cool you want to take tennis lessons, or are they making fun of you?

Do they complain about the dinner you made that has more veggies than normal?

Do they commend you on the newfound energy you’ve gained since switching things up?

When I’m reaching for an extra serving of dessert, B encourages me to check in with myself to see if I reeeally want it. Other times he brings me water to be sure I’m hydrated. When we get home from the gym or a social event, he comments on how I glow differently.

Here is a hard question to ask: when you look at how they live, would you be proud of your life mirroring theirs??

There have been studies² done on how partners influence one another’s weight, & having your spouse become obese doubles your risk of becoming obese as well.

Furthermore, if one spouse develops Alzheimer’s, the other partner’s chance of getting it increases by 600%!!³

WHAT!? 🤯

Mija, I’m not telling you you need to overhaul your entire relationships.

What I am telling you is that you are worthy of being surrounded by people who motivate, inspire, & encourage you to become the best version of yourself—& the way you get there is by the habits you create!

I – Intention

“He who knows why can endure any how.”

— Frederick Nietzsche.

Another reason why people don’t set sustainable habits is that they don’t have a deep sense of purpose behind them. Because of this, when things get tough, they get going.

Your deeper purpose will be the anchor that keeps you grounded when the waves of life come crashing.

Why do you want to start your side hustle?

• Is it just to create a little bit of extra income, or is it to grow a business that brings financial freedom? Or that allows you to work across the world? Or retire your parents? Or stay home with your kids?

Why do you want to take charge of your physical health?

• Is it just to be back at your pre-baby weight or fit into your high school prom dress again?

• Maybe you want to be able to play with your kids at the park or have enough energy to take dance classes with your partner or prevent the chronic disease that your abuelo passed away from.

When you’re setting a habit, have some intention behind it.

If you need some inspo for this, think back to the A section. What’s the identity you want to affirm? Why is that important to you? These two sections will likely be linked!

T – Track & Celebrate

In 2022 I went 150 days STRAIGHT practicing Italian on Duolingo. There was something about the streak that got me hooked! (more on that later)

When thinking about the habits you want to form, find creative ways to track them.

Some ideas…

A Habit Tracker:

• Use a calendar or habit tracking sheet to mark when you’ve completed your habit. Similar to a streak, you’ll feel motivated by wanting to check off the habit for the day.

A Marble Jar:

• If you’re a visual person & you want something more tactile than a habit tracker, consider creating a marble (or rock, frijol, etc) jar. Simply move the marbles from one jar to another & watch your progress unfold!

• This is especially motivating for time-based goals (you want to do something for a certain amount of time) or ones where you are chipping away at something (like going toward a savings goal or paying off debt), but it can also works in other scenarios!

Progress Pictures:

• We often hear of progress pictures for exercise goals, but they don’t only have to be of your physique! It can also be the craft you’re working on or screenshots of your social media analytics, language progress, etc.

• In the book Hidden Potential by Adam Grant, he says that “the strongest known force in daily motivation is a sense of progress.” Progress photos help you appreciate how far you have come, motivating you to keep going.

Tracking your progress is really helpful because it allows you to fall in love with the process.

Success no longer means perfection, it just means showing up & doing your best every day (& your “best” will change depending on the day).

Tracking your habits also automatically helps to celebrate yourself for all you’ve been doing!

Rather than waiting for some end goal (a degree, a certain weight, holding a headstand, etc.), you get to notice your progress all along the way.

S – Stack Your Habits

Ahhh, we’ve reached the last letter of HABITS! If you’ve made it this far, congratulations!

You might be familiar with the book Atomic Habits by James Clear & he talks about “habit stacking,” which is basically where you add the habit you want before or after one that you already have.

Think about things you already might already have in place:

• Brush your teeth.

• Make your coffee.

• Grab your purse on your way out the door.

• Have lunch at the same time.

• Drive home.

How could we stack new habits onto these existing ones?

• Post your affirmations in your bathroom mirror. Say them right after you brush.

• Get in a morning stretch or meditation or journaling sesh while your coffee is brewing.

• Put your gym bag next to your purse at night so you never forget it in the morning.

• Make a goal to finish your water before lunch so you can refill your bottle while your food is heating.

• Call your mom (or any loved one) on your drive home.

I was able to reach my 150 day Duolingo streak by completing it right after I brushed my teeth!

So tell me, what is the habit you’re trying to create? Would it make sense to do it before or after something that you already do?

One thing to note is that we oftentimes already stack habits based on environmental cues (here we go again, talking about the power of environment!).

You get home from work, put your stuff down, head for the fridge, pour a glass of wine, & sit on the couch.

You visit your abuelita, give her a hug, & head for the stash of Mexican candy.

Your boss calls you into their office, & you automatically think that you’re going to get fired.

Are these instinctual habits ones that are serving you? What if you could make automatic circuits actually benefit you?

Use habit stacking to help make that happen!

Are you feeling more confident in your ability to create habits, or what?!

If you want targeted journaling questions to help you think through HABITS, I have a FREE download called Hone Your Habits that you would find super helpful! Hope you enjoy it.

As always, leave your questions in the comments & lmk what habit you’re tackling next!

1. de Ridder, D. T. D., Lensvelt-Mulders, G., Finkenauer, C., Stok, F. M., & Baumeister, R. F. (2012). Taking Stock of Self-Control: A Meta-Analysis of How Trait Self-Control Relates to a Wide Range of Behaviors. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 16(1), 76-99. https://doi.org/10.1177/1088868311418749 ↩︎
2. Having a spouse become obese doubles your risk of becoming obese (Cobb LK, McAdams-DeMarco MA, Gudzune KA, Anderson CA, Demerath E, Woodward M, Selvin E, Coresh J. Changes in Body Mass Index and Obesity Risk in Married Couples Over 25 Years: The ARIC Cohort Study. Am J Epidemiol. 2016 Mar 1;183(5):435-43. doi: 10.1093/aje/kwv112. Epub 2015 Sep 23. PMID: 26405117; PMCID: PMC4772434.). ↩︎
3. https://www.bluezones.com/2017/09/researchers-say-alzheimers-disease-cases-preventable-find/ ↩︎