If you’ve ever moved, you know it’s not the mosssst enjoyable thing ever…
The coordinating, the home hunting, finding out you actually did have a lot of stuff (when you see it all on the floor after somebody haggles you for your furniture).
I’ve heard over & over that “change is the only constant,” & while it’s definitely true, it doesn’t make it any less sucky. What about the neighbor I would exchange cultural meals with? What about the amazing gym that was just a few blocks away? The roommate’s dog that would give me consolation cuddles after a rough shift? I didn’t want to leave any of that behind.
And yet, I had to. And I did. Over & over (& over) again.
Earlier this year I moved from Seattle to San Francisco. B & I fell into an unspoken agreement: I could be passenger princess the entire ride as long as I also took the title of snack connoisseur.
Sounded like a deal to me!
While I seemingly had to give up a lot, I also gained a lot (not physical items, but we’ll talk more about that later!). I learned about myself with each move, & I truly believe that life is always giving us little lessons along the way—if we slow down to pay attention. Like when my mom commented on my messy apartment, full of boxes & stress, & I realized how deeply I valued her opinion. Or when B & I got into a tussle about dinnerware, & I realized how badly I wanted control & a certain aesthetic.
They say our triggers are teachers. In these times, have a mindful moment & get curious with yourself. Why did my mom’s comment hurt so much? Why did plates temporarily dull the excitement of a new place with my honey? Curiosity cures judgement! It opens the door for self-compassion, & down the road, for intentional change.
One thing I learned from my many, many moves is that each season of life is just that: a season. You tend to savor things more when you know they’re temporary. You get this sense of urgency to spend time with the people you love, to see the sights & try the food & check the experiences off of your bucketlist. The Buddha is quoted saying “the trouble is, you think you have time,” & moving has taught me that every season has good & bad, but I always get to choose which part I embrace. When I came home tired AF from my travel nurse gig, I always looked forward to an evening tea with my roommate, Evie. While I felt like I couldn’t waaait to crawl into bed, I knew our time was limited, & I’m glad I chose to savor it before it was over.
I also learned that you don’t have to say yes to every free lanyard or hand-me-down or obscure ingredient that you’ll only use in one recipe. I’ve had to ask myself if I really want to pack something up, lug it across the US, unpack it, find a place for it, & keep maintaining it. I have parted ways with (probably) most of what I used to own, & the reality of another imminent move has pushed me toward a more minimalistic lifestyle. In the midst of this all, I also realized how much clutter makes me feel a bit anxious/on-edge, which has been even more reason to live with less!
The last lesson for now is that moving helped me recognize what I need in my environment in order to thrive. I need to be close to a green space or at least a gym, bonus points if I’m near friends, & cherry on top if there’s good parking. I have to be close-ish to an airport. Maybe for you, you need to be within walking distance of good restaurants or your aging grandparents or your job. You need a yard for your dog or a play room for your kids or good lighting for your plants. Part of growing up is recognizing that you can’t have everything…but the secret to setting yourself up for success is having a keen awareness of what your priorities are, then finding peace with letting go of the rest.
Looking back, I’m glad I’ve moved so much. The process of learning can be arduous, but it is necessary.
As I type this, Home Depot boxes pile up on the corner where our shelving used to be, the shelving that now holds the trinkets of another family. While I don’t looove the moving, I do love new spaces & infinite possibilities & a chance for a fresh start. I love that this next apartment B & I go to is going to be just ours. I love building a home with him, one that isn’t dependent on where we live, but instead on the love that we share & the safety it creates.
Cheers to new beginnings!
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