It seems like I have one of those seasons every year or two…
You know, one of those intense periods of growth &/or grief that you probably could’ve seen coming, but throw you for a loop anyway?
Yeah, well…I’m in one of those right now.
A family member is getting sick, my work caseload became overwhelming out of nowhere, I’m still recovering from my back injury, & my emotions have been alllll over the place.
Logically, I know it’s not forever & I’m doing things to set myself up for success.
But practically? Life definitely seems a bit more …uhh, difficult than usual 😅
If you’re in a similar season, you’re in the right place. In this blog post we’ll cover practical ways to support your well-being, especially during difficult times.
Listen to (& Honor) Your Body’s Cues
If you asked me what is the foundation of well-being, I wouldn’t say drinking water or hitting the gym. What would I say it is?? 🤔
Self-awareness.
Why? I’d love to explain…
You can be honest with yourself as to why you are (or aren’t) doing something.
- When you got upset with your partner, were you genuinely upset with them? Or did the situation trigger some childhood wound? Are you just on edge from a stressful workday?
You’ll understand how to be healthy in a way that’s relevant (therefore sustainable) to you.
- Maybe you’re trying to hydrate more, but you think plain ‘ol water is boooring. Add some sliced lemons to it. Make tea instead. Get a cute water bottle. When something is fun & tailored to your desires, you’re more likely to stick to it!
Self-awareness is nothing more than being attuned to yourself.
It’s like separating yourself from your thoughts & actions, & instead becoming a non-biased observer of your life. This separation allows space for curiosity as to why you are doing/thinking things, & this curiosity is the magic that precedes change!
Mija, your body is not against you. Your body is your friend, & it’s always trying to talk to you.
It doesn’t walk in words, but in feelings & emotions: the relaxing ahhhhh when you cuddle your partner, the jaw tension when you’re getting stressed, etc.
Self-awareness allows you to grow in friendship with your body. As you continue to listen to it & pay attention to what it needs, you’ll learn to understand its language.
When you’ve built this foundational awareness, you can commune with your body when you need it most: when you’re going through a hard season.
- When you feel extra tired, you know it’s not because you’re lazy. You’re okay with crawling into your bed earlier than usual.
- When you’re low energy, you recognize that you’ve just had a hard week. You’re okay with canceling or postponing plans in order to stay in & recharge.
- When you are too tired to cook, you don’t stress over it. You’re okay with ordering something so that you can focus on resting.
Just like we only have so many hours in a day, our energy is also finite.
When you’re spending a lot of mental energy dissecting trauma, or giving extra emotional energy to a loved one, or physical energy toward an unexpected move, you’re going to have less energy to put toward other things.
& that’s not a personal flaw or a mark of weakness—it’s just the reality of the season.
If you’re having a hard time allowing yourself to rest, I wrote a blog post about how to build self-awareness.
Keep Up With General Wellness Practices
If you’re having a little toooo much self-compassion & all of your self-care habits are going out the window, we need to figure out how to get them back…
Because the health of our bodies is linked to the health of our minds, & vice versa. Our body is an integrated entity.
In the book How to Be the Love You Seek by Dr. Nicole LePera, she talks about how we all have physical, emotional & spiritual needs.
In a time where your emotional & spiritual landscape might feel a little out of control, it’s even more important to focus on your physical body.
“Physical needs: nutrient-dense foods, nourishing oxygen and water, adequate rest/restorative sleep, beneficial movement.”
How to Be the Love You Seek – Dr. Nicole LePera
I’m not telling you to go to the 90 minute Orange Theory class you signed up for, or to strictly eat what you meal-prepped for the week.
This is a great time to practice self-awareness. What self-care practices move the needle for you, & how can you do those in a way that’s realistic to your current energy levels?
Stretch.
Make a sopita.
Go for a walk.
Sit in the sun.
Stay hydrated.
Sleep.
Remember, your body is your friend. How can you support your friend during this time, so that your friend can support you back?
Some Extra Self-Care is Warranted
On the same note, this is a great time for some extra self-care.
Again, practice self-awareness here. I’m not telling you to spend $1,000 on a spa day (unless you think that’d benefit you & you have the financial ability to do so, then go for it!).
Let me share about the day I had yesterday…
Like I talked about in this blog post, I’ve been going to acupuncture for about a month.
I knew I was struggling a bit more than usual, so I booked a longer session that also included cupping & bodywork.
Let me tell you…I walked out feeling SO zen.
My acupuncturist asked what I had planned for the day, & my response? To hydrate.
I came home, drank coconut water, & laid in bed alllll day. I read. I watched YouTube videos. I napped.
Before bed? I had the most extravagant nighttime routine I’ve ever done.
We’re talking this herbal sleepytime tea WITH Magnesi-Om by Moonjuice (use this link for $20 off your first purchase).
I applied my favorite Primally Pure spirulina face mask, then…
Full body dry brush.
A bath with epsom salts & a yummy candle & Beautiful Chorus sound baths.
After I got out, I used my Primally Pure facial cups.
I did a full body lymphatic drainage massage using both my hands & this de la Heart wooden paddle, then laid in bed with my legs up the headboard for some exxxtra lymphatic goodness.
(I’m super obsessed with Primally Pure products & you can use this link for $10 your $50 purchase!)
Amiguis, be gentle with yourself.
It may seem like a waste of time when your energy is already dwindling, but these types of things are like investments in your well-being.
I took yesterday to sloooow down, & now I’m actually feeling motivated to write & meal prep & do things that I need to do.
Seek Support from Loved Ones & Professionals
The way we live as a species has changed a lot in the last 100 years, but the truth is…we are still social creatures. We need each other. We need to be & feel supported in order to thrive.
I have let some friends in on what is going on, & having them check in on me has made me feel so special & loved.
l hope you have friends who you can lean on in this time, mija.
I have a blog post about how to make friends as an adult, so if you’re curious on navigating this when you have more energy available, I’d recommend you check that out.
B is such an integral part of my life. He is understanding & empathetic & his cuddles seriously make my day.
When I told him I wanted to spend extra money for the longer acupuncture session, he was immediately excited for me.
When I told him I was feeling overwhelmed about everything that needed to get done, he helped come up with a plan & encouraged me to InstaCart groceries rather than going to the store myself.
When I said I could use a foot rub, he grabbed the massage oil & went to town.
I will forever stand by the fact that the partner you choose will singlehandedly alter the course of your life—for better or for worse.
Another thing that I’ve been doing is not calling my family as much.
While I feel guilty about this, I have noticed that when I call certain people it can leave me feeling more depleted, & tbh…I just don’t need that right now.
For you that might be certain family members or certain friends or certain colleagues.
As you navigate a season where there is already extra energy being used up, be intentional with how you’re using what’s left over.
Finally, seek professional help. Look for a therapist or a coach who can provide extra support in this time.
I used to think that if I wasn’t always working with someone, I was not growing. While there are benefits to having a therapist, I don’t think you having to be working with someone constantly.
However, these times are different. There are a lot of life changes happening at once, & that has brought up a lot of emotions.
Some great places to find a therapist are psychologytoday.com or latinxtherapy.com. There are also online platforms like betterhelp.com, but I personally have tried it & wasn’t a huge fan. Lmk in the comments if you’re curious about that & I’m happy to answer any questions.
Avoid the Urge to Distract. Go Inward.
I’m a broken record at this point, but again: self-awareness.
What do you do when you’re faced with overwhelming emotions & situations??
Just notice.
Do you turn to comfort foods? Scroll social media more than usual? Become abnormally irritable? Maybe pour an extra glass of wine or two?
I have a friend who enjoyed watching a show here & there, but noticed that when she was overly stressed at work she would binge watch well passed her bedtime.
Sometimes she didn’t actively know there was anything wrong, but when it was midnight & she had the urge to click the “Next Episode” button, she’d pause & say ahhhh…something’s off.
For me, I just looked at my finances for this month & am in utter disbelief on how much I spent on skincare 🥲
When I am struggling emotionally, I want to do two things: clean & spend money. I think it’s how my subconscious tries to regain a sense of control.
While there is nothing inherently wrong with either of these things (I mean, I personally looove a clean house AND skincare, so…), they can be a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions.
What’s the downside of that, you ask?
I recently finished the book Untamed by Glennon Doyle & holy guacamole, if you’ve heard about this book but haven’t read it, THE HYPE IS REAL. It is powerful!
There is a section where she talks about feelings. She says that she used to think she could only feel happy, but then someone told her that feelings are for feeling…every emotion.
Society tries to tell us that if we’re doing things right, we won’t feel hard emotions.
But the truth is that hard are emotions are actually the marker of doing things right, of unlearning old programming, of paving a new path.
When you allow yourself to feel your hard emotions & then come out the other side, you not only grow confidence in yourself—you allow the emotions to transform you.
“I’d never be free from pain but I could be free from the fear of pain, and that was enough…Pain is not tragic. Pain is magic. Suffering is tragic. Suffering is what happens when we avoid pain and consequently miss our becoming.”
Untamed – Glennon Doyle
So I hope you let yourself cry. Or scream. Or punch a pillow.
I hope you let yourself journal about how crappy your day was without needing to find some positive meaning in it right this second.
We’re scared to feel because we think it’ll go on forever. But like Maya Angelou wrote: every storm runs out of rain.
In the book Attached by Amir Levine they say you’re only as needy as your unmet need.
You are not some bottomless pit of emotion, mija. You just need to let the emotion run its course.
Be gentle with yourself while doing what you know you need to do, feel your feelings, & listen to what you need in this season.
Know that it’s temporary, & also know that that doesn’t invalidate how hard it can be.
I’m cheering you on & we’re in this together, amiguis!
