B & I recently(ish) moved into a new apartment & while I was excited about the gorgeous gym & outdoor areas, I was shocked at how abundantly our lives changed.
I went from struggling to get out of bed & forcing myself to meditate, to hopping out of bed to watch the sunrise & completing mindfulness practices with ease.
We went from spending over $1,000 dollars on food a month (for two of us…yikes!) to cooking almost every meal at home.
We had the same jobs, the same amount of free time, the same partner, the same amount of willpower…so what happened?
Our environment changed.
In this blog post, we’re going to be talking all about your environment: what it includes, why it matters, & how to optimize it to create your dream life on autopilot!
Okay, I will admit, I am completely obsessed with habits. I wholeheartedly believe that wellness doesn’t live in the extremes, instead it’s found in the small decisions we make every day.
You don’t need a daily $12 green juice or an expensive PEMF mat or a membership to an elite gym to feel great.
You don’t need to have unimaginable amounts of motivation (although B actually does, & I am toootally jealous lol!).
You just have to systematize your environment to make it easy to do what you want to do.
What do I mean by your environment?
Am I talking living in a city that has clean air? Or picking an apartment that gets sunshine? Or buying some plants to have indoors?
Well, partially…
But it’s so. much. more. than just those things.
Your environment is anything you interact with, & it has the capacity to influence your energy (whether you realize it or not).
I give some examples in my blog post on habits, but we’ll go much more in-depth here.
Your environment includes (but is not limited to):
- The music you listen to
- Your relationships (romantic & platonic)
- Your home set up
- Your work environment
- & more!
Why Your Environment Matters
The right environment can help you reach your goals faster.
We like to think that we can will our way to change, & you totally can…but the truth is, it doesn’t have to be this hard.
If we create the right environment, the changes we wanted to see would happen pretty painlessly.
Let’s say you want to start going for runs in the evenings but you & your friends normally go out for happy hour. They’re upset you won’t be joining them anymore. Don’t be surprised if you start to lose steam on this goal.
But what if you found a running club, made new friends who thought running was cool, & you actually started to see it as enjoyable?
You wouldn’t have to force yourself to lace up your shoes, it would be something you looked forward to!
Your environment also sets the standards for your life as a whole.
Once you’re in a good environment & you start to see how positively it impacts your life, you’ll be less likely to accept things below that.
Let’s say you grew up in a loving home with parents who believed in you, held you accountable in a way that was motivating & kind, & always had time to listen to you & laugh with you.
Years pass & you’re interviewing for jobs. You tour different facilities & can immediately spot which ones are toxic & which ones would be great workplaces.
Even though it’s your first industry job, your parents set a standard for what it means to be in a good environment, & now you’re not willing to stray from that.
Even if you didn’t grow up in an environment that set good standards, thanks to our brain’s capacity to change, it’s never too late to start changing your standards now.
Your environment can even impact what you think about, priming you to attract more of what is already surrounding you.
Our brains are kind of…well, hyper-efficient. It doesn’t like taking the scenic route, it loves a good shortcut!
Consequently, it’s always looking for things like pattern recognition because this saves energy. It looks for evidence of what it already knows to be true (helloooo, confirmation bias!).
So if you’re in a bad partnership & your partner tells you you’re good for nothing, you’ll spend the day finding ways that you suck.
But if you’re in a loving partnership & your partner tells you how amazing you are, you’ll go throughout your day finding reasons why that that is definitely true.
This is the same reason why things like vision boards, affirmation cards, photos of people you love, etc. can be really helpful in creating a life you love!
How to Optimize Your Environment
Optimizing your environment first starts with becoming aware of what is not optimized.
Have you ever purchased a foam mattress? It comes tightly wound into a box, super thin from having all of the air sucked out of it for easy transport. Once you start to remove the packaging, it slowly starts to expand to its size.
I have to warn you…once you realize that things in your life aren’t serving you, you can’t unsee it. It’d be like trying to shove the fully expanded mattress back into the box—it’s just not happening
We’re going to do a little life audit. As you go about your day, think about the things you’re surrounded by & check in with yourself: do these make you feel inspired & uplifted, or energetically depleted?
Your Partnership:
I’m putting this first because this is arguably theeee biggest factor.
The people around you set the standard for what’s normal & what’s not, & you’re probably not with anybody more than you’re with your partner.
Have you ever been resisting the urge to grab seconds, but then your partner does? Suddenly you it becomes okay to get more food, too.
Or it’s Saturday morning, your bed feels so soft & warm, & you’re contemplating skipping the gym. But then your partner hops out of bed & starts getting their workout clothes on, & their energy rubs off on you.
The partner you choose will have a direct impact on your actions, beliefs, & overall well-being.
If you’ve read any of my blog posts & see how highly I talk about my incredible boyfriend, you’re probably thinking yeah yeah, but you don’t get what it’s like…
Did you know B & I were both engaged before?
My ex would gaslight me when I talked about childhood hardships. He’d tell me I was ungrateful when I had a new goal in mind. It got to the point where I’d get chest pain whenever I thought about him, & I started resenting myself for staying in the relationship.
My parents loved him, I had already purchased a wedding dress, & I had spent weeks making wedding invitations on a Cricut.
But he wasn’t good for me.
My relationship with Brendan has been more beautiful, healing, & loving than anything I could have imagined. So if you’re in a relationship that you know deep down isn’t serving you, trust me: there’s hope on the other side.
Friendships:
On the same note, your friendships play such a huge roll in helping you achieve your goals!
We just had some friends come over (love you, Han & Cam!) & we shared a meal, played ping pong, & talked about business ventures.
If I had a dollar for every time I heard someone say it’s hard to find friends as an adult, I could…hmmm, what would I do with that cash? That’s not the point lol!
In my experience, I do think it can be hard to find friends as an adult, but I don’t think that’s the whole story.
I think it can be hard to put yourself out there. Ideally your home is cozy, & there’s probably some friction to leave. But you won’t make new besties from your couch.
I also think it can be hard to maintain friendships. Life gets busy, schedules don’t always align, & you definitely need to be intentional about sending some snail mail or scheduling a dinner.
But the truth is, if you wanted to, you would (if I called you out, so sorry, but it had to be done!).
Okay okay, I wrote a whole post about how to make friends as an adult with actionable tips & tricks. If you haven’t read that yet, I would highly recommend it!
Workplace:
The other day one of my amigas texted me that she was job hunting because her current work environment is dimming her light. Have you ever experienced this?
Of course you won’t get along with every coworker all of the time, that’s unavoidable. & of course you won’t always want to be there—unfortunately, a job is a job.
But is your job sucking your energy dry? Are you feeling afraid to speak up for yourself? Are you being given tasks beyond your duties, with no talk of extra compensation? Are there opportunities for you to grow & take ownership of things you’re passionate about?
We have 24 hours in a day, & you’re likely at your job for 1/3 of your days. That’s a lot of time to be somewhere you don’t like!
Try to find a company that aligns with your values & that puts energy into building a good workplace culture.
The grass isn’t always greener & nothing will be perfect, but working somewhere that aligns with your own personal mission will help you endure the hard moments that are sure to come.
Physical location of your home:
When people are thinking about moving, they take quizzes about their design style & start a Pinterest board for decor inspo.
What’s inside your home is so important (more on that in the next point), but what about where your home is?
Is your home located close to things you value, things that make it easier to be successful in your goals?
Is there a gym close by? Are there grocery stores that you like? If you love being outdoors, is that accessible? Do you feel safe walking outside? Are you close to your parents, or the airport, or the library, or other things that are important to you?
Part of why B & I moved into these apartments is because we looove the gym. There’s a Trader Joe’s a mile away that we frequent, the WFH area saves us from going to coffee shops when we want to work somewhere different, & it’s close to our jobs (we love a short commute!).
I know it’s not feasible to up & move if you realize your home isn’t in the neighborhood you want to be in. But it’s something to keep in mind for when your lease is ending & you’re thinking about making a switch!
It can also be helpful to do an activity like my core values assessment to figure out what’s really important to you.
It’s not realistic to have everything you want, but you can definitely prioritize what you value most so you’re making decisions that align with your goals!
Inside your home:
Ahhhh, Pinterest board time!
If you’re curious about what B & I picked for our sweet home, I wrote a post on what we splurged on & what we saved on for our new place!
But first thing’s first, before we talk about fun things like interior design I want to say one thing: clutter impacts you more than you know.
According to psychologist Dn. Joseph Ferrari PhD, clutter is “an overabundance of possessions that collectively can create chaos and disorderly living spaces,” (emphasis added).
If you grew up in an immigrant &/or low-income household, there was probably a lot of stuff collected as a trauma response. There was a subconscious fear of not having enough, so there was a need to keep things (even if they were broken or or just not used anymore).
Studies have shown that clutter can increase stress-levels, particularly in women.
It’s worth it to be intentional about reducing clutter, & ideally, not letting it through the door in the first place.
Another thing to recognize is that location has energy.
It can be really powerful to slowly build a workout corner, or convert your spare closet into a meditation sanctuary, or move the couch around so it faces the beautiful window & not the TV.
Your location cues you to do certain things. For example, maybe you walk through the door, pass the fridge, grab a snack, sit on the couch & turn on Netflix. You have to adjust your environment to your advantage!
Like I talked about in the intro, B & I have been loving our new place! This space makes it much easier to do what we want to be doing. Moving isn’t fun, but creating a new space totally is!
Music:
This is something that no one talks about!
Think about it—songs live in your head rent free! I still know all the words to Moscas en La Casa by Shakira.
Music can influence our subconscious minds, helping us live our best lives or tying us to the identities we are desperately trying to shake.
Let’s say you’re trying to drink less alcohol. Do you really want to be listening to a song about going out to the club & getting shwasted?
Or you’re trying to be a better, more loving partner. Should you be listening to some toxic love song that is giving anxious attachment style?
How does the music you listen to make you feel?
Listen to songs that feel expansive, whatever that means to you! I personally have been listening to a lot of music by Londrelle, Beautiful Chorus, Nicola Cruz, Thiago Mueller, sound baths, etc.
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